Negative Capability Press Poetry Blog

Sue, I absolutely love this. I like the way you’ve included the Faulker, and I love the voice in the poem.

Did you leave out the punctuation on purpose, or was that a blog formatting thing? I just want to make sure that you haven’t been reading too much of that Gray fellow’s stuff…

I did leave out the punctuation — maybe not so much by the Gray fellow — but how can one not be however — but it seemed that — in contrast to the Gray guy that the fact that Yellow fever — at least in 1878 was “back again” that I didn’t want the poem to have “stops.” Maybe it needs punctuation though — and I can sure go back and put in periods and commas, etc.
What do other readers think?
SBW

This is an amazing poem. I wish I had written it. I like it best with no punctuation. I can’t pick out a favorite stanza — I love “black vomit,” bleeding eyes,” “rabble-rain ditches,” naming the cities, then “Bronze John,” Yellow Jack,” “Saffron Knight” (are all those euphemisms for yellow fever?)
And “the sun / hides at night its yellow face” is marvelous. Everything is so vivid. Smelling the heat in the skunk bush and hearing it hum and buzz in the catalpha tree lead so beautifully to the Faulkner and sound very like him.

SBW, August 1878 is an awesome poem, one that is so prophetic. I like how you digress from traditional verse. This allows an experience whereas the poem flows easier. Such a device adds to the ways in which headlong destruction rushes toward destination. It is a poem that made me think about our own times, the varied
violence, destructions herled our way. This is
a poem that is masterfully presented. Thanks!
WJK ( Willie James King)

So far, everything is falling very much into place; however, I think in this instance it might be smoother and more sensible to say “Their
here again” since you are talking about rains.

The poem works for me until the ending, and somehow or other Faulkner’s words even adapted just are not enough or strong enough for this poem. The ending needs more. . .
perhaps something like “wrestle the old outrage and know that death is not black.
It is yellow.” Forgive me for using my words. You need to use yours. There is so much here that is powerful and perfect.

Sue,

You’re absolutely right about the plural for rain.
It should be “they’re.”

I don’t know how to change / edit the poem on-line, but I’m going to e-mail Rob about it.

Thanks for your fine comments.

I’m going to work on the ending.

Sue W