Negative Capability Press Poetry Blog

2

the girl with the cloth seats

i remember the cloth seats
of my old Volvo
soaked with sweat
AC out every now then
suffocating heat
on any given day
my oxford uniform shirt
stuck to me
and the seat
at the same time
from the inside
out
streams of liquid salt
running from the bend
behind my knee
as i drove through
a typical Florida day
and
i loved it
knowing nothing else
it was perfectly acceptable
to sweat and i mean
sweat
like this
all day long
we didn’t worry about make-up
or looking fresh
despite our blow-dried hair
and carefully tucked shirttails
we didn’t drink water
it was diet coke at every meal
we were dehydrated all the time
and
it just didn’t matter

1

i remember the cloth seats
of that old Volvo
soaked with copious amounts
of chlorine
my sopping towel
clung to me
and the seat
at the same time
swim practice was tough
but i was tougher
and always hungry, then
we tore home
every day
and i sat
practice suit,
towel and all
feed me
wet hair knotted
the stench of chemicals
wafting from my direction
the aroma
of mom’s sauce covering for me
two man sized portions
went to me
and my dad
when i stood
taking that meal for granted
i left behind
a faded imprint
on the wooden chair
whatever was living on my suit
having stripped away the stain
we didn’t even wonder
what that meant for my skin

i remember wednesday
when i washed my hands
twenty times
until they were raw
and wiped down
the leather seats
of my twelve year old Ford
with anti-bacterial wipes
lest something evil
but invisible
followed me in
awaiting a chance to fester
my mind races sometimes
wondering if those seats
are clean enough
and if not,
who else my carelessness
might affect
and i think back to the years of
chlorine and sweat
and have to smile
a sad smile
wednesday's brand of vigilance
didn’t exist in the world of
the girl with the cloth seats

1

i remember
the cloth seats
and the way
they clung to me
no matter the day
no matter the circumstance
they always had my back
and even on the most suffocating
of those Florida days
i never once thought
of how to get them clean again
i just knew
what i didn’t know
couldn’t hurt me
and i always breathed easy