Negative Capability Press Poetry Blog

I love the phrase “fifteenth of summer,” which has a wonderful, ethereal timelessness to it.

I wonder if you might choose something with more character than ‘electronic alternatives.’ There is nothing wrong with it, but it is so value-neutral. Consider a phrase that will give your opinion of these alternatives, good or bad, or even just a phrase that just seems like a nice way of putting it. I would also pretty much say the same thing about ‘more fun’–in that case, something like “seem warmer’ comes to mind…

I love this stanza! But do you need ‘recounted’?

Hello Rini,

Good to see you on the blog. I really like your title. “Michigany” is so luring — as is the title as a whole. Just makes the reader “have to” read on.
Sue

I really like the “fifteenth of summer.” Wish I had thought of that.

Wonder if something specific could be added to “is always perfect” as .. . . Maybe a simile here?

Sue

I like this one line stanza.
Sue

Beginning a line or a paragraph with “there is” gives me pause — partly because I was taken to task for using a weak, passive construction to introduce anything when I was in grad school. I work like mad to reconstruct “there is / there are / there was / there were passages.
What about beginning with “Time” and see what comes> Time needs more hands — or some such.

Sue

I see the repetition — and I like that but . . . I still think you could start with “Time” — even if time is on the line (almost) by itself.
Sue

I really like the family lineage in this stanza.
Sue

I like the way the end of the poem echos the title and the beginning.

Lucky Matt having a poem written for him. I have a newish grandaughter, age 6 months, butt I haven’t liked any of the poems I’ve tried to write for her. You manage to say so much without being sentimental or gushy or overdoing the connection — and I haven’t been able to do that. I admire this poem a lot.
Sue

Rini, good poem. Like Sue, I have a soft spot for grandchildren poems and have found them hard to write myself. I like your lists — of games and foods. Matt will like it even better, knowing he contributed the title and inspiration.

Thanks, Vivian. I know what you mean about grandchildren poems being hard to write - I have a bunch of them that should never see the light of day. But Matt’s title “made me do it.” His mom has shared it with him, but I think it will be a few years before he appreciates it

I’m glad you like the poem.

This title is fantastic. Like Dr. Walker said, “Michigany” is fantastic.

The idea of fifteenth of summer is also really great and made the poem for me.

This stanza (as well as this whole poem) really captures that slowed down, drawn-out feel summer days have. The fact that “there is always enough time” just makes you want to relax and take it all in. Great poem, and, as everyone else said, love the title!

Thanks, Meagan. I love the title, too, especially because Matt - age 6 - came up with it. Amazing, isn’t it?!?

i love this line…it’s magical…