i was eight when my parents
bought a cabin on lake martin
and it quickly became my sanctuary
from life's sordid realities
as well as the doorway directly into them


1

that cabin was the holiest place i knew
offering its gifts of beauty and release
not only in the summer
but also when the fall colors waltzed
in the silvery shimmer of the waves
when the winter wind
always much colder than you'd expect
for central alabama
shot across the water
shocking my brother drew and me
as we walked along bare rocky shores
beside choppy black receded waves
or when the warm spring air
tempted us to take the first plunge
of the season into the still frigid lake
as pollen gathered in yellow
clusters atop the greening rippling water


1

yet the summers were most special
while the other children spent theirs
longing for the good humor and ding dong man
to cool their days with the momentary meltings
of snow cones and soggy ice cream sandwiches
we had all the treats we could dream of right there
from water sports and explorations
of the lake and surrounding woods
to learning how to drive the boat drink beer
and appreciate the secret subtle nuances
of seeking out the best assembles of bikinis
on the beaches and piers throughout our slough


1

we had it all right there for the choosing
right there waiting to be unwrapped

Posted by Rob on June 25, 2008
Tags: Uncategorized

Total comments on this page: 5

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sue walker on whole page :

Rob, this is radical! Since the title of the poem names “Lake Martin,” I want to move the 1st stanza to be the lst stanza.

And maybe delete “as well as” in the last line.
SBW

July 1, 2008 7:52 pm
sue walker on paragraph 2:

This stanza is a rich unfolding. However, I think you might want to delete some of the “the” words that aren’t absolutely necessary.
I love “that cabin was the holiest place.”
What about:
“not only in summer”
“but also when fall colors waltzed.”

I like the verb “waltz.”

“when winter wind”

SBW

July 1, 2008 7:58 pm
sue walker on paragraph 3:

What about deleting “the” in the 1st line of this stanza: “yet summers” …

Delete “the” in line 4. “With momentary meltings”

SBW

July 1, 2008 8:01 pm
sue walker on paragraph 4:

I think if you want to keep this stanza, then maybe you could insert the 1st stanza before the last stanza.

SBW

July 1, 2008 8:02 pm
Vivian on whole page :

Rob, I do like your Drew and Lake Martin poetry and can easily see your building it into a verse novel. I think Sue’s idea about dropping “the” here and there is a good one. I reread it and actually found five or six more whose absence would improve the poetic flow, mostly in the third stanza.
Good poem. It stirs up my own childhood and teenage memories of summer days at the lake/beach house. Not to mention youthful angst.

July 7, 2008 1:31 pm
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