Negative Capability Press Poetry Blog

make yourself known

i'm still working on the title...thanks, as always, for bearing with me...
.

i've decided to give you a name.
that way when i don't want to
return your call
heed your presence
or dignify your existence
i can be clear
and
no one can say i haven't been
clear enough

i can direct my rejection
of you
at you
and not just
into the air
into nothingness
where you
left me last

i will no longer
answer
i don't know
when asked for your name
and i will no longer
have an excuse
not to banish you
from here
from over there
from everywhere
because
you will have a name
and i will scream it
until you can take it no more
i can take you no more
but you can't hear me...yet

you will know when
i refuse you
and your persistent
self satisfying pleas
usurping all of mine

if i can give you a name
i can be sure
you hear my silence
after i tell you
i will no longer apologize
for you
for myself

2

i've decided to give you a name.