Negative Capability Press Poetry Blog

I wrote this between sessions at the Alabama Writers’ Conclave today. I am now thinking about completely altering the chronological structure I’d imagined for the verse novel. I believe this should go before any of the childhood lake stuff, perhaps immediately before it, with no transition at all. Whaddya think?

Wow. The ending is intense and completely unexpected after all the beautiful details and locales in the rest of the poem–a perfect way to drop the reader into the story you want to tell. Also, I think it gives them a tangible link to what you must have felt. I think people can relate to that bubble of beauty and excitement and possibility that just suddenly pops. This poem is like a transition in itself, really. A suitably sudden one.

this is the 3rd time i am trying to write this, so i’m sorry if it’s not clear…i, too, like the ending of this poem very much. how the speaker goes from empowered to completely vulnerable in an unforeseeable instant is so true to life. that said, in my opinion, no segue /transition is needed. the end is the end is the end. to add a smooth transition would cheapen the message that life is unpredictable, just like this poem. a moment ends where it ends, and a new one begins, usually without a carefully laid out transition–sort of what john lennon said: life is what happens while you’re making other plans. we don’t often have the luxury of a transition, so why should your verses have one? hope this makes sense. the second comment might have been clearer–hopefully this one won’t be erased.