Negative Capability Press Poetry Blog

I like this poem a lot. It certain makes the most of dreams that startle us sometimes with the things they “say” to us.

I think this poem illustrates how powerful a dream journal can be as a writing tool.
SBW

I’m wondering about the best sequence for this line:

the person you now are — or
the person you are now

This isn’t a suggestion. just a thought.

A question of order here and …

In the previous stanza, is it possible “to snap”
when you say in this last stanza “I awoke with a start.”? I wonder if you need “and I snapped” at all.

I love the lines: “My dreams are / never really mine.”

Super poem.

SBW

Somehow I’m looking for a more poetic way to describe getting angy than “my blood pressure mounted.”

Juxtaposing “beautiful things” and “ugly thing” in the first two stanzas works well. I like this poem, Alexis. Dreams can, as Sue points out, be strong inspiration for poets.

Alexis, do you think “snapped at you” is strong enough. I know you’re such a gentle person, but in your sleep, in a dream, granting poetic license here, wouldn’t “screamed” or some strong verb better express the frustration, if not the anger.

I remember the first poem I ever wrote about being adopted. It was an address to my birth mother in which I said something like: “Mother, I forgive you.” I sent it to Judson Jerome, a well known, respected poet, at the time, and he wrote me back and said that he liked the poem but didn’t believe that I really did forgive her. I thought about it awhile and decided that maybe I didn’t. I rewrote the poem and it was a much stronger, better, poem. Just a thought.

SBW