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1

to say drew was a free spirit
would be like saying the bear
was a guy who coached football
or that the bunny ranch is
a place to pick up girls

2

he lived by his own set of rules
and only followed those
when they didn't interfere

3

if he wasn't at work
he had only one outfit
a pair of cutoff wranglers
to be fair i'm not sure
how many pair he had
but it seemed like only one

4

i assumed he also wore
something under them
but that was it
no shirt no shoes no service
anywhere he went
just cutoffs
and an occasional comb

5

if mom wasn't watching
he would accessorize
with a cigarette and
a can of miller high life

6

even in the hospital
before the surgery
he would go for walks
in the halls in nothing
but those tattered shorts

7

how fitting that they
were the last real clothes
he ever wore
that by the time
he had to wear that
awful blue-grey suit
they put him in
his spirit was already free

Posted by Rob on August 14, 2008
Tags: Uncategorized

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alexis on whole page :

i really like this character sketch–the whole way through. i wonder if the 3rd and 4th stanzas could be tightened/combined, like this:

he only had one outfit
a pair of cut off wranglers
to be fair i’m not sure
how many pairs he had
but it seemed like only one
no shirt no shoes no service
anywhere he went
just cutoffs
and the occasional comb

i’m not sure you need some of the other lines–about work clothes and undergarments, but this is only my opinion.

in the last stanza, which i really like, i wonder if it could be more powerfully conveyed by taking out the first 3 lines of explanation, and the second to last, like this:

by the time
he had to wear that
awful blue-grey suit
his spirit was already free

it’s a great last line, since you’ve conveyed that he was a free spirit all along, and we’d like to think that spirit is freed even after the body has passed on.

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August 15, 2008 4:13 pm
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